Fish

I didn't have a very good day. It was a lot like yesterday. I binged and then took pills. I didn't cut though. I thought it was going to be a good day. When I woke up I talked to Tracy on the telephone. I usually hate talking on the telephone, but I like talking to Tracy on the telephone. I even got to talk to her son on the telephone. It was funny because Tracy called me back so I could talk to Danny because he was mad that she hung up without letting him talk to me. Apparently he likes me, which is surprising since I usually scare little kids. It was also funny because when I was talking to Danny I could hear Tracy in the background telling him what to say. Anyway, Tracy and I talked about a lot of things. First we talked about how I had a bad day yesterday and I told her that I binged and took pills and cut. Then we talked about when Chris yelled at me. She said that there was a pattern because my father yells at me and my ex-boyfriend yelled at me (among other things...) and that it was good that I broke the pattern and that I'm not friends with Chris anymore. Personally, I don't think a friend yelling at me like that is the same as my father or my boyfriend yelling at me like that, but I'm glad she thinks that I did a good thing. Then we made a list of things I can have to try to control my eating so I still do it, but I don't binge. Here's the list. The bold stuff is stuff she thought of and the not bold stuff are things I added after.

Water

Diet Green Tea

Grapes

Grapefruit

Soup

Coffee

Regular Tea

Plain Vegetables

Plums

Any Zero Calorie Beverage

Look, I doubled the list. That's good. When we were coming up with this list I could hear Danny in the background trying to help by suggesting things like crabs, roast beef, and french fries. It was cute. He's one of the few kids I don't want to strangle. Moving on, Tracy also suggested that I get a fish. I'm really not supposed to have any pets in my apartment. It's against the rules. However, I don't think a fish is really that much of a problem. They don't make noise and they hardly take up any room. Just in case they would be mad I didn't want to let them know I have one so I had to sneak it inside. It would've been funny to watch if you knew what was going on. I got the fish and all of the fish stuff in just fine though. I have it all set up now and I just hope the fish doesn't die. I named him Oliver. It was between Oliver and Tracy the fish. I figured Oliver was better because I don't know how much Tracy wants me to name a fish after her. It would be funny though. Here's a picture of Oliver.

So, those were the highlights of my day. I wish school would just start already. I'm pretty bored. There is this kid that I used to go to school with that really wants to hang out with me. And by hang out, I mean make out. It's so annoying. I don't even really know this kid nor do I want to make out with him. He graduated a few years ahead of me and one day he just randomly messaged me like "Hey. You're cute. Let's hang out." Ok, that's just weird. And another thing. He's Asian. I don't have a problem with Asian people, but do I have a big sign on my head that says "I date Asian guys"? Because out of all of the guys who try to initiate things with me, the majority of them are Asian. I just think that's kind of odd. Anyway, I'm super tired so I'm going to bed. I think I'm going to order my books tomorrow. Fun fun.

- Danyele