Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Counseling and Panic Attack

Yesterday I had an intake interview at the counseling services place here on campus. I guess it was a good thing. I know I should be in counseling, but I really don't want to. I'm going to do it though...probably. I told Tracy I would. I talked to her after classes after I went there and she said she was really rpoud of me, which was good to hear. She also said that she was half expecting to get a text around 10:30 that said I didn't go to the intake interview. That was not so good to hear. She also said I sounded "good", which was also not so good to hear. I hate the word "good". Good means healthy and healthy means fat and fat is the worst possible thing I could be. Lately my moods have been really weird too. Before I was in a constant state of....I guess apathy is a good word to describe it. Now I'm either feeling really great or really really horrible. Before I was feeling bad, but now when I feel bad it's like 100x worse then before. I'm even cutting again, which is really stupid, but I just feel so bad and I get a different kind of relief from cutting that I didn't used to get before. I can't explain it. I guess that's kind of really not good at all. Speaking of not good, I had a panic attack in bio today. That was FUN. Except not at all. I don't really know what happened. I guess it's because I didn't understand anything about the material and I started freaking out. It was so embarassing. I had to get up and leave. God, I'm such a loser.

- Danyele

7 comments:

dyingtodance said...

First off you are not a freak. I also suffer from panic attacks and so do many people. Im glad that your going to counselling and I hope that it helps. Your moods almost sound like bipolar - well thats what mine do and I was diagnosed with it. Hope things get easier

Anonymous said...

Hey, you haven't updated in over a month. I hope you're ok! Update when you can so we all know you're alright! xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

heyyy i'm from xanga, i dont have a blog on here but i still wanted to show you my support. my father has panic attacks too and unfortunately, im' starting to get them late at night. my dad said this is around the age he started feeling this way. you are not alone in this, everyone is here to support u.

-c

PTC said...

I HATE when people tell me that I ate a "good" meal. That means "too much" to me!!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'm a little worried about you, too. I hope your absence only means that you've entered recovery or something. I want nothing but the best for you.

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

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